delusion
Just a little reflection and collective message I have for anyone who vibes with me:
In 2022 I had a mental break down..i can’t forget it because it was so extreme and I didn’t even know I was capable of having a moment like that. Literally screaming and crying on the floor throwing a tantrum because I looked at my life and didn’t recognize it and I just exploded.
I didn’t just hit rock bottom. I tunneled beneath it. Under the ocean floor. Down in the deep trenches. No light existed here.
BUT
Even in the dark, something IN me flickered. Maybe it was delusion. Maybe it was my higher self. Either way, I decided in that moment that I was going to be full-time creative. No plan, no roadmap, just vibes and stubborn belief.
Fast forward three years from that 2022 melt down…and here I am. I was not only able to get back into dance, but I fell back in love with it, & I just started doing shit with no end game. Just frolicking around and creating. I almost quit. Almost gave up on the dream. But I started giving my 1% each day. Just a sprinkle of effort. A tiny pulse of curiosity. And that 1% started stacking, quietly, patiently, until suddenly…things began to move.
Now i’m out here experimenting, playing, & creating. Staying delusional but grounded enough to check in with myself. Floating between imagination and reality because it’s my favorite place to be.
SO IF IT FEELS LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW….
pause and take a breath.
That’s the in-between magic you’re feeling. The calm before your next chapter shows up. Keep going. Keep giving your 1%. Because something beautiful is always just around the corner, waiting for you to remember that it’s possible.
My delulu 2022 self approves this message.
Bonus that no one asked for:
I actually recorded myself AFTER that mental break down…here’s a clip for the records so I can always remember a moment that helped fuel me to get to where I am today.
warning: it’s so cringe lol.
